I’m a Sidewinder, a California King

Time has taken on
the motion of butterflies
and I realize now
that the discipline of
love has broken me

the pattern of dysfunction
is a matter of relationship
and of individuals
losing themselves
in dependence

we get comfortable being
with someone
we get use to their
presence and we get use to their scent
and we get use to talking
to them and we get use
to loving them

then all of a sudden that is taken from us
and were left alone and it’s like,
“What the fuck?
the house is empty and the bed is empty
and all I can think of is that I use to be SOMEONE with you
life use to hold so much potential
and while I wasn’t always happy
at least I was drinking less
and smoking less
and when I fought
it was always for you”

“but now that your gone I have
no idea who I’m supposed to be
or what my life is supposed to look like.”

“I use to be someone,” I’m thinking
“and now that’s gone too.”

– A. Ramirez

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